So, without further adieu, let's see all the great and dismal and infuriating things that is in the news about Ms. Mae.
- "Sallie Mae Hints at Dividends," WSJ, January 20, 2011
SLM may return cash to shareholders. She hasn't done so since 2007. They've made these promises to investors in the past, but then have failed to follow through. The best news in this article? SLM's fourth-quarter earnings are up by 45%! Great news for us, right?
- "Calls from student loan firm aggravate non-borrowers," Chicago Tribune, January 20, 2011
So this story is about a couple with the last name of Collins. It turns out they started receiving calls from Sallie Mae . . . get this . . . non-stop, even though they were non-borrowers. I know, I know, it's shocking to those of you who are aware of the amazing quality of customer service that Ms. Company Mae possesses. She's a real lady when it comes to phone call etiquette and fair treatment. In any event, the Collins shared the same last name with one of Ms. Mae's debtors (lucky them!). Even though the couple told Sallie to stop calling day in and day out, the very next day - you guessed it - the phone would ring again and again and again and again. You get my point. And of course it would be damned Sallie on the other end of the line wanting to chit-chat. Luckily, there's a happy ending for the couple. As for the debtor, I doubt that's the case for him.
- "Sallie Mae Tops Zacks Estimate," Daily Markets.com, January 20, 2011
"SLM Corp. (SLM: 14.13 +0.31 +2.24%), better known as Sallie Mae, reported fourth quarter 2010 core earnings of $401 million or 75 cents per share, ahead of the Zacks Consensus Estimate of 72 cents. The results compare favorably with prior-year quarter’s core earnings of $268 million or 44 cents per share. Favorable results were primarily driven by decrease in loan loss provisions and gains from repurchasing debt. During the quarter, the company repurchased $1.3 billion of debt with realized gains of $118 million."
You can count on us! We are experts in terrorizing and demoralizing the indentured educated class.