Business as Usual for Bloomberg

November 4, 2009 (GBN News): While publicly maintaining that “a win is a win”, Mayor Bloomberg is said to be privately furious over the poor return on his $100 million re-election campaign investment. “I didn’t become a billionaire by throwing away money,” he reportedly told associates after his unexpectedly narrow victory on Tuesday. “I paid for a 20% margin, and I expected to get a 20% margin.”

However, Mr. Bloomberg will apparently be able to recoup much of the money he spent. The Mayor is said to be billing the Thompson campaign for $50 million worth of Bloomberg ads highlighting Mr. Thompson’s picture. Though the ads had actually attacked the Democratic candidate, a spokesperson for the Mayor maintained that, “We gave him all that exposure. It’s only fair that Thompson should pay for it.”

In a related story, last minute rumors of potential trouble with the Securities and Exchange Commission may have contributed to Mr. Bloomberg’s relatively poor showing in the election. The SEC is reportedly investigating the Mayor for insider trading in test score futures. Sources told GBN News that Mr. Bloomberg is suspected of using his knowledge of inflated NY State test scores to invest heavily in them. Unfortunately for the Mayor, the recent release of NAEP scores tipped off the investigators and exposed the scheme.