Tuesday, March 31, 2009

How We Speak- The Basic Question We Need To Ask

Cast your mind back to those first impressions.
  • 55 per cent is based on what we see (appearance and body language)
  • 38 per cent on how we speak
  • 7 per cent on the actual words we are speaking.

We have examined the 55 per cent ‘what we see’ and to some extent the 7 per cent when we looked at building our conversations but there is more to it than this, and a great deal more to how we speak, plus some fundamental differences between what he says and what she says.

We also need to understand the structure of how we speak. This can be described in three stages.
  • descriptive
  • reflective
  • speculative
For example we might say:
‘Nice day’ (Descriptive)
‘Better than yesterday’ ( Reflective)
‘I wonder if it will last?’ (Speculative)
Now there are some differences between the way men and women use this structure. When men talk they often miss out the reflective stage i.e. the ‘better than yesterday’ part. So their conversation might go something like this: ‘Nice day, hope it lasts.’ Whereas when women speak they often miss out the speculative phase i.e. the ‘I wonder if it will last?’ part. So their conversation might go something like this: ‘Nice day, isn’t it? Better than yesterday.’ This has implications for communication in the workplace and of course in personal relationships. An example. In a meeting when there is a problem to be solved, or some procedure or matter is up for discussion, men will often launch straight into the solution, or they might state the problem and then launch into the solution, missing out the reflective part of the total.
For example: ‘As I see it we’ve got a problem meeting these delivery dates so what we’ll do is alter the production schedule.’ Whereas a woman might say ‘As I see it we have a problem meeting these delivery dates because we’ve overstretched ourselves taking on the South African order.’ She misses out the speculative stage, i.e. the solution. Or: He says, ‘Staff motivation is a real problem in this office, what we’ll do is take everyone out on a teambuilding day.’ She says, ‘Staff motivation is a real problem in this office, that’s because we can never get to talk things through with management and we feel that we really don’t matter at all.’ When a man hears this he is thinking ‘I know there’s a problem with staff motivation: why doesn’t she suggest a solution?’ Or ‘I know we’ve got a problem with delivery dates but what’s her solution?’ He will then try and solve the problem by saying, ‘OK, if the staff feel like that why don’t we all get together for a teambuilding day!’ But she says, ‘No, that’s not the issue.’ ‘Well what is?’ he replies irritably. ‘We need to discuss why we have poor motivation.’ ‘I don’t want discussions I want to know how we can solve it,’ he snaps. Men ask how first – women ask why.
Sometimes men miss out the descriptive stage in their speech altogether and go straight to the speculative i.e. the solutions. For example he comes into the meeting and says, ‘Right, what we’re going to do is bring forward production.’ Or ‘OK, I’ve arranged for us all to go on a team building day.’ The women are thinking – why? In addition they feel disorientated because he hasn’t followed the stages of speech, which they prefer. Understanding these differences can help us to improve our communication skills both at work and in our personal lives. Because women like to go through the stages of speech men should give them more time to explain themselves and then should prompt for the solution i.e. the speculative. Women need to train themselves to think through to a solution or solutions to the problem and then be confident enough to offer them.

When two circles determine a triangle

Nikolaos Metaxas and Andromachi Karagiannidou have written an article called When Two Circles Determine a Triangle. Discovering and Proving a Geometrical Condition in a Computer Environment. This article was published online in the International Journal of Computers for Mathematical Learning on Sunday. Here is the abstract of their article:
Visualization of mathematical relationships enables students to formulate conjectures as well as to search for mathematical arguments to support these conjectures. In this project students are asked to discover the sufficient and necessary condition so that two circles form the circumscribed and inscribed circle of a triangle and investigate how this condition effects the type of triangle in general and its perimeter in particular. Its open-ended form of the task is a departure from the usual phrasing of textbook’s exercises “show that…”.


When two circles determine a triangle

Nikolaos Metaxas and Andromachi Karagiannidou have written an article called When Two Circles Determine a Triangle. Discovering and Proving a Geometrical Condition in a Computer Environment. This article was published online in the International Journal of Computers for Mathematical Learning on Sunday. Here is the abstract of their article:
Visualization of mathematical relationships enables students to formulate conjectures as well as to search for mathematical arguments to support these conjectures. In this project students are asked to discover the sufficient and necessary condition so that two circles form the circumscribed and inscribed circle of a triangle and investigate how this condition effects the type of triangle in general and its perimeter in particular. Its open-ended form of the task is a departure from the usual phrasing of textbook’s exercises “show that…”.


Acid Base Neutralization Reaction

1. Base + acid → salt + water
Example: HCl + KOH → KCl + H2O
2. Base oxide + acid → salt + water
Example: 2NaOH + CO2 → Na2CO3+ H2O
3. Base oxide + acid → salt + water
Example: CaO + 2HCl → CaCl2 + H2
4. Acid oxide + base oxide → salt base
Example: SO3 + CaO → CaSO4
5. Metal + acid → salt + H2 gas
Example: Fe + H2SO4 → FeSO4 + H2
6. Metal1 + salt1 → salt2 + metal2
Example: FeSO4 + Ca →
Fe + CaSO4

Terms: Salting at fifth number, the metal must be on the left H + in the array Volta. Salting at sixth number, metal1 must be located on the left in metal2 array Volta.
Volta array:
Li - K - Ba - Ca - Na - Mg - Al - Mn - Zn - Cr - Fe - Co - Ni - Sn - Pb - (H) - Sb - Bi - Cu - Hg - Ag - Au - Co

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About Me

I'm just a man who are still learning. Now, I'm busy teaching chemistry at a school in Semarang, Central Java, Indonesia.
Email: panserbiru@gmail.com
Yahoo ID: arhie_hend@yahoo.com

Shape Your Inner Voice To Achieve Success


After talking about your own self-esteem, let’s look at what else stands in your way - your inner
voice. What is it saying to you? Is it a positive one or a negative one?

For example, you might be saying: ‘It’s all right for her, she had a good education, of course she is more confident than me.’
Or ‘He’s only got to the top because he sucked up to the boss’, or ‘... his father owns the company’, or ‘... he’s cleverer than I am’.

The above are faulty inner dialogues – they are hostile and embittered and focus on you. If you don’t correct them then they will affect your body language and therefore the signals you are giving out to other people so that in turn you behave aggressively; i.e. you look, move and sound surly, or bitter, your expression is hard and resentful, you may make cryptic remarks and snide comments. Is this the sort of person you want to be? How do you think others will react to you? Would you want to be around a person like this and would you be willing to do as they asked? I doubt it.

Or instead of getting aggressive you may become submissive. If you are constantly comparing yourself to others and you are coming off the worse, you are constantly putting yourself down. Or you may be allowing yourself to wallow in self-pity. Your self-esteem will be low and your body language will be become hunched and withdrawn. You want to fade into the background and not be noticed. Will you take the initiative and forge new relationships? Will other people be inspired to cooperate with you? Of course they won’t.

You may be dealing with someone who is rude or difficult and your inner dialogue may be saying something like, ‘I wish that person wasn’t so difficult, they’re a right pain in the …’ ‘I can’t stand that person. I wish they would see my point of view, or act like me.’

When you hear these negative, prejudiced voices say STOP. Then get a more positive dialogue going. Here are some to help you:
  • I have an open mind.
  • I will treat this person fairly.
  • I can keep calm.
  • I am interested in this person and what they have to say.
  • I may not agree with this person but he/she has a right to his/her point of view.
  • I may not like this person but I can treat him decently and fairly.
If any of these phrases are going through your head what signals do you think your body language is giving out?

Yes, you will be looking at the other person, giving them good eye contact. Your facial expression will be relaxed and interested. You may even have your head on one side as you listen to them. Your posture will be upright, but not stiff, open and relaxed, you may even be leaning more

Try smiling at a difficult person, genuinely smiling; try saying something nice to them instead of getting upset or hostile. Think of them rather than focusing on what hurts and upsets you. Take your difficult person by surprise by complimenting them. I am not promising that it will work every time but it will make you feel better.

Remember: you cannot change another person; you can only change yourself. By changing the way you think, act and interact with others you will change the response you receive in return.

Thinking more confidently may take some time and indeed some practice but it will help you to communicate more confidently.

Barriers to Effective Communication


There are a wide number of sources of noise or interference that can enter into the communication process. This can occur when people now each other very well and should understand the sources of error. In a work setting, it is even more common since interactions involve people who not only don't have years of experience with each other, but communication is complicated by the complex and often conflictual relationships that exist at work.

In a normal work environment, the following barriers can play critical role for communication
  • Language: The choice of words or language in which a sender encodes a message will influence the quality of communication. Because language is a symbolic representation of a phenomenon, room for interpretation and distortion of the meaning exists. In the above example, the Boss uses language (this is the third day you've missed) that is likely to convey far more than objective information. To Terry it conveys indifference to her medical problems. Note that the same words will be interpreted different by each different person.
  • Defensiveness, distorted perceptions, guilt, project, transference, distortions from the past.
  • Misreading of body language, tone and other non-verbal forms of communication.
  • Noisy transmission (unreliable messages, inconsistency)
  • Receiver distortion: selective hearing, ignoring non-verbal cues
  • Power struggles
  • Self-fulfilling prophecy
  • Assumptions-eg. assuming others see situation same as you, have same feelings as you.
  • Distrusted source, erroneous translation, value judgment, state of mind of 2 people
  • Perceptual Biases: People attend to stimuli in the environment in very different ways. We each have shortcuts that we use to organize data. Invariably, these shortcuts introduce some biases into communication. Some of these shortcuts include stereotyping, projection, and self-fulfilling prophecies. Stereotyping is one of the most common.
  • Interpersonal Relationships: How we perceive communication is affected by the past experience with the individual. Perception is also affected by the organizational relationship two people have. For example, communication from a superior may be perceived differently than that from a subordinate or peer.
  • Cultural Differences
  • Majority of meaning comes from Nonverbal Communication Cues.


BASIC: Strategy To Manage Conflict

Sometimes, conflict can be happened in our professional work as well as our personal life. We need to know the technique to manage the conflicts. As it's normal to have some conflicts and a smart professional will always manage those conflicts in such a way, that ultimately give that person an added advantage over others.

Here, i am trying to give you an idea about BASIC, the strategy you can follow to manage conflicts with others. And i also present some tips which will give you some edge over your colleague; even sometimes over your boss.

BASICS

  • B – Back down: Usually the other person is just as interested in saving face as you are, so give them a way out. Provide a graceful way out.
  • A – Apologize: Say you are sorry or “excuse me” – it doesn’t mean that you are wrong or weak to use courtesy.
  • S – Stay centered: Stay in control. Don’t let someone else lure you into a fight.
  • I – It isn’t worth it: Point out that it’s not worth fighting about. Lighten things up a bit. Make a joke – but not at the other person’s expense.
  • C – Keep it cool: Keep your voice low and steady and calm. Again, stay in control.
  • S – Stand in the other person’s shoes: Try to relate to the other person. Try to understand what they want or need.

Some Useful Tips for De-Escalating a Potential Conflict:
  • Speak softly. Speak slowly. Look at the person – but don’t stare.
  • Be aware of your body language.
  • Try to relax.
  • Remember to breathe.
  • Repeat sentences for clarity. “I think I heard you say…”
  • Watch your language. Words such as “maybe” “what if” “I feel” “perhaps” tend to de-escalate.
  • Affirm and acknowledge the other person’s point of view.

Dos and Don'ts: Sending Email In Your World

Electronic mail (E-Mail) is the popular, preferred method of communication these days because it’s fast, efficient, and inexpensive. However, just because it is cheap to send, doesn’t mean it should be cheap in quality – in terms of presentation and content.

Realize that sending email is not the same as talking to a person face to face. A sentence that might be clear to someone talking to you face to face might come across quite differently without the tone of your voice or the look on your face. Trust and respect are just as important in an email message as in a face to face meeting. Be mindful of your manners – you’re not just sending and receiving typed messages on a computer screen. Think how others will likely receive your message before you launch it into cyberspace.

Dos:
  1. Include an informative subject line.
  2. Plan what you intend to write.
  3. Get straight to the point of your email. Be concise, but be aware – rushed messages can lead to miss-communication.
  4. Focus on the message. What do they need to know?
  5. Provide details. Can they act on your information?
  6. Use eye-catching headlines to organize information.
  7. Use action words if you are sending instructions.
  8. Provide them a method of reaching you.
  9. Double check what you have written. Sometimes this double checking can save you some real embarrassment.
  10. Do consider when your email recipient will read your email. Many people send and receive email at regularly scheduled times of the day only.
Don’ts:
  1. Don’t get carried away with special effects.
  2. If you don’t want it shared, don’t write it. Don’t put something in an email message that you would not want read by everybody. Email can be misdirected or forwarded to others.
  3. Don’t type in all capitals. This is the electronic equivalent of SHOUTING! Conversely, don’t use all lower case because it’s hard to read.
  4. Don’t create or forward “chain-letter” email.
  5. Avoid flames. A “flame” is an inflammatory or critical message. Be careful what you write. Sarcasm is not always clear in a mail message, and something that you meant to be funny can be taken very seriously.
  6. Avoid sending junk emails, emails with insufficient information, or any other email that might trigger an upsetting response from the recipient.
  7. Don’t immediately respond to messages that make you angry. Remember - once it’s sent, you can’t get it back. Take time to reflect on your response and review it. It might be necessary to soften the tone, remove emotion or make sure your message won’t be misconstrued.
  8. Don’t send threatening mail. There are many public personalities and government officials with electronic mail addresses. Jokes and threats sent to these people are taken seriously. Depending on the person you send mail, you could find yourself behind bars.

Site Map

Basic Chemistry
Measuring pH Solution Using Acid Base Indicator
Water Equlibrium Constant and Acid Base Strength
Acid Base Theory
Material Classification
Physics and Chemist Changes
About Atoms and Elements
Hydrogen
About Chemical Science
Atomic Number and Mass Number of Atom
Isotope, Isobar and Isoton
PPM (Part Per Million)
Oxidation Number
History of Atom Models

Anorganic Chemistry
Metal and Non-metallic Elements

Physic Chemistry
Calculating the Change of Enthalphy Using Calorimeter

Analytic Chemistry
Acids Bases Neutralization Reaction
Stoichiometry: pH of Strong Acids and Strong Bases

Organic Chemistry

Biochemistry

Other
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First Posting in 2009
Indonesia Win
Nanotechnology: Really Just Happen in My Dreams

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Study Tour Part 1: Going to Ketep
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Study Tour Part 3: Time to Eat
Study Tour at 4: Back Home

Avoiding Items To Be Good Communicator

As a good communicator, you need to know the avoiding factors, the factors that you need to avoid during your communication. Its proved, communication is a skill and we need to follow some strategy to achieve success in communication.

Here, i am mentioning some points which we need to avoid during any communication, to achieve success as good communicator:
  • Gossiping: Don't give your friends a chance to say that your mouth is as big as all outdoors.
  • Exaggerating and Half-Truths: People won’t trust you.
  • Being “Catty” (subtly cruel; spiteful): People fear a petty person.
  • Being a Snob:This is so yesterday!
  • Swearing: Sometimes you get mad enough to swear, and you do. Swearing lets off steam, but what does it do to you? It’s cheap and tiresome.
  • Teasing: It can punch holes in a person’s pride.
  • Criticizing: If you want to be treated like so much poison ivy, model yourself after the pesky mosquito – buzz and then bite.
  • Wearing Your Feelings: If you’re too touchy, you’re looking for trouble… you’ll need to accept criticism with a calm manner.

Communication: Meaning and Importance of Communication

What is communication?

Communication is the exchange of thoughts, ideas, information, or feelings between individuals using speech, writing, gestures, and artistic expression.

Get the message!

The message that is sent is not always the message that is received. Effective communication exists between two persons when the person to whom a message is sent interprets the message in the same way that the person who sent the message intended it.

What’s the big deal?

The process of verbal interaction is important to maintaining our health and emotional well being. Communicating effectively with others is an important characteristic of leadership, and it shapes our success in different activity.

When we share our experiences and feelings sincerely, we come to realize that all of us experience emotions, but that each of us experiences them in our own way. We can recognize the similarities among us as well as our individual differences.

Some Underlying Facts
  • Failures in communication happen when the message received is different from the message intended.
  • It’s easier to say that the other person doesn’t understand than to work to understand the other person.
  • Each person shares equal responsibility or blame when communication is difficult or isn’t working. Try looking at the world from the other person’s perspective. Walk a mile in her shoes.
  • Show interest in feelings and opinions even when you disagree. This helps build trust and mutual respect.

"No Effects" Studies

Education Week's got this article out about randomized trials producing "no effects." According to the article, these null findings are raising eyebrows and "prompting researchers, product developers, and other experts to question the design of the studies, whether the methodology they use is suited to the messy real world of education, and whether the projects are worth the cost, which has run as high as $14.4 million in the case of one such study."

Wow, is that ever a disappointing reaction. Here's why:

1. We should be psyched, not upset, that studies with null effects are being released. That is not always the case. Publication bias, anyone? I've often thought that studies demonstrating null effects need to be publicized even more widely than those that find positive or negative impacts. Too many places out there are at the behest of funders, and can't release null findings. Too many assistant professors don't get tenure because they "didn't find anything." Are you kidding me? If it's a current practice and you learn it doesn't produce any effects, either way, it needs to be out there. We should learn as much from null findings and "worst practices" as we do from "statistically significant" impacts and "best practices."

2. Saying that experimentation isn't suited to the "messy real world" is a cop out. It lumps many different kinds of experiments into one category-- the good, the bad, and the ugly. Field experiments, lab settings, cluster-randomized trials with volunteer districts, and student-level randomized experiments with participants selected via administrative data-- these are very different animals. Each approach has a differential potential for generalizable results (external validity) and varying levels of challenges to internal validity as well. I'll grant you, experiments that rely on volunteer samples probably can't help us much in education-- since in real life programs aren't applied to students, families or schools who volunteer--they apply to everyone. This is especially a problem when we try interventions to close achievement gaps-- African-Americans who volunteer for studies are very, very different from those who do not (Tuskegee anyone?).

3. Doing experiments well costs a LOT of money. Putting trials on tight budgets helps to ensure they aren't run well--PIs cannot build the kinds of relationships that promote treatment fidelity, cannot collect high-quality data, and cannot get inside the black box of mechanisms--and instead are stuck simply estimating average treatment effects. No drug works for everyone, and no drug works in the exact same way for everyone-- the medical community knows this, and uses larger samples to make identifying differential and heterogeneous effects possible. When is Education going to catch up?

4. One thing I do agree with this article on. The model IES is using needs some revisions. I heard William T. Grant president Bob Granger give a great talk at SREE recently, where he made the point that the usual 'try small things then scale them up' model isn't going anywhere fast. We need to know how current policies work as currently implemented-- at scale. Go after that, spend what's necessary to conduct experiments with higher internal AND external validity, and support researchers to do this who reject old models and try new things. I promise you, we'll get somewhere.

Correctness: The Seventh 7 c's of Effective Communication’s


At the core of the correctness is the proper use of grammar, punctuations and spelling. A message may be perfect grammatically and mechanically but still insult or lose a customer.

Correctness comprises of the following points:

a. Using right level of language

There are different levels of languages which may be formal, informal, and substandard. Formal writings are usually associated with the scholarly writing, legal documents, and other documents where formality is the style in demand.

Examples:

Formal and Informal Approach
  • More Formal: Participate. Less Formal: Join
  • More Formal: Interrogate. Less Formal: Question
More Acceptable and Substand
  • Substandard: Can’t hardly, More Acceptable: Can hardly
  • Substandard: Irregardless, More Acceptable: regardless
b. Checking accuracy of figures, facts, and words

Many a times it is impossible to convey the message directly from the sender’s head to the receivers head. So this can be done to an extent by including figures and facts like as follows:
  1. Verifying your statistical data
  2. Double-checking your totals
  3. Avoid guessing of laws that have an impact on sender or receiver
  4. Determine whether a fact have changed over a time.
Other factor is the inclusion of words that don’t confuse for example the following will help in clearing this topic.

Example 1: Accept-Except: Here accept means to receive and except means to omit.
Example 2: Biannually-Biennially: Biannually means 2 times a year and biennially mean every 2 years.

c. Maintaining acceptable writing mechanics

This topic relates to the proper use of words and spellings. But in today’s world writing have been more easier, since, spell-checkers and various kinds of word formatting's are available.

Courtesy: The Sixth 7 c's of Effective Communication’s

True courtesy involves being aware not only of the perspective of others but also their feelings. It is merely politeness and mechanical insertions of “please” and “thank-you”.

Courtesy comprises of the following points

a. Being sincerely tactful, thoughtful and appreciative
  • Tact: Though few people are intentionally waiting for someone to argue, so being tactful avoids any cause of discourtesy and avoiding any negative feedback from the sender. Example: “Clearly, you did not read my latest fax” can be written as “Sometimes my wordings are not precise; let me try again”.
  • Thoughtfulness and Appreciation: It means bringing a thought in the entire conversation and appreciating the reply from the other party.
b. Use expressions showing respect

No reader wants to receive message that offends. This can be done by eliminating irritating expressions and Questionable humor because humor to one person may be disgust for another as everyone has different sense of humor.

c. Choose nondiscriminatory expressions

Another requirement for courtesy is the use of nondiscriminatory language that reflects equal treatment of people regardless of their gender, race, age and physical features. Some of the examples are given below:

Situation 1
  • Questionable: Each customer will have the new changes noted on his bill.
  • More desirable: Customers will have the changes noted on their bill.
Situation 2
  • Questionable: Our criteria are firm; he is to be a scholar, he is to be a good teacher.
  • More desirable: Our criteria suggest he or she is supposed to be a scholar and a good teacher.

Clarity: The Fifth 7 C's of Effective Communication’s


Getting the meaning from your head to the reader’s head accurately is the purpose of clarity. Of course, you know it is not simple. We all carry around our own unique interpretations, ideas, thinking, experiences associated with the words.

Clarity comprises of the following points:

a. Selection of precise, concrete and clear words

Clarity is achieved in part through a balance between precise words and familiar words.Defining the above sentence, example, although it is appropriate to use technical terms and business jargon's in professional institutions but they need to be avoided when communicating with a person who is not acquainted with the terminology.

Example:
  • Possibly unfamiliar: Assessed valuation; Familiar to the layperson: Property value for tax purposes.
  • Possibly unfamiliar: Charge to your principal(banking); Familiar to the layperson: Increase the balance of your loan.
  • Possibly unfamiliar: Buyouts; Familiar to the layperson: Purchase by other company.
  • Possibly unfamiliar: People plying on skywalk; Familiar to the layperson: People moving on over bridge
b. Constructing effective sentences and paragraphs

In this important characteristics to consider are length unity and coherence.
  • Length: Generally short sentences are preferred, the suggested average sentence length should be about 17-20 words, because longer sentence may cause lack of concentration in sentence.
  • Unity: In a sentence whether it is simple, compound or complex the link i.e. the unity matters which means to have one main idea traveling through the entire conversation. Every sentence or word must be closely related to each other.
c. Coherence

Coherence in sentences means the words should be correctly placed or arranged so that ideas clearly reflect the intended meaning.
  • Emphasis: It refers to the quality that gives force to important parts of the sentences and paragraphs. The writer must know when and where the emphasis is required which helps in making the letter more clear along with other C qualities.

Concreteness: The Forth 7 c's of Effective Communication’s

Concreteness refers to being more specific, definite, and vivid rather than and general and repetitive. The main benefit of being concrete is obvious that the receiver knows exactly what is required or desired. The other benefit of being concrete is that the reply might be in the same way that may be interrupted by you as the receiver.

Concreteness comprises of the following points:


a. Using specific facts and figures


Whenever possible use specific, exact, precise statement or figure instead of general words which helps in making your message more concrete.

Examples:

  • General, Indefinite: She’s a brain; Concrete, Precise: Her percentage have increased from 84% in S.S.C to 88% in H.S.C
  • General, Indefinite: Eastern Europe is making progress in obtaining investments; Concrete, Precise: In 1990, investments in Eastern Europe were about US $30 million; today that figure has increased by 12%.
But sometimes when you don’t know the exact figures and want to be concrete you can write as “half the committee was present”

b. Put Action in your verbs

Verbs can bring your concreteness back to being alive and more dynamic. Use of verbs especially the active verbs make your sentence more Specific, Personal and Concise. Even the passive verbs are more useful sometimes when you want to avoid any personal or accusing comments.

Examples:

  • “The Principal Has decided” is more specific then “A decision has been made”.
  • “You will note” is both personal and specific than “It will be noted”.
c. Selection of more vivid and image-building words

This section refers to the use of language or words which are capable of creating an atmosphere in the mind of the reader that he imagines himself, being, in that situation rather than using words which would bounce over the gray matter. The inclusion of vivid words also helps in creating a scenario that the writer or speaker has a wider scope of imagination instead having an image of sticking to the basics.

Examples:


No Literal and dull More vivid and image-builder
  • His work in group was exemplary He could be called the “The spark plug of the group”
  • The results are very good this year and are expected to be very good next year.
  • The results this year have been excellent and we expect them to touch the mountain in the coming year.

Consideration: The Third 7 c's of Effective Communication’s

Consideration means preparing every message keeping the message receiver in mind; Being considerate means you don’t loose your temper, you do not accuse or charge them without facts, in other sense consideration covers other six C’s of effective communication

Consideration comprises of the following points to be kept in mind

a. Focusing on “you” instead of “I” and “we”
The message should focus on how message receivers will be benefited, what they would receive and what they need to know should be emphasized. Many people have ideas of individual gain for better standard of living.

Example:
  • We-attitude: I am delighted to announce you that we will be extending our hours to make shopping more convenient.
  • You-attitude: You will be able to shop in evenings with the extended hours.
b. Showing audience benefits or interest in the receiver

If possible you must show how your receivers will benefit from whatever the message asks or announces. Receiver will be more likely to react favorably and do what do you suggest if you show that benefits are worth the effort and cost you are asking them.

c. Emphasize positive, pleasant facts
A third way to show consideration for your receivers is to accent the positive. This means stressing what can be done instead of what cannot be done, and focusing onwards your recipient can consider favorably.

Example:

Situation 1:
  • Unpleasant: We don’t refund if the returned item is soiled or unsalable.
  • Pleasant: We refund when the returned item is clean and resalable.
Situation 2:
  • Unpleasant: When you travel on company expense, you will not receive approval for first class fare.
  • Pleasant: When you travel on company expense, your approved fare is for tourist class

Conciseness: The second 7 c's of effective communication’s

Conciseness refers to saying whatever we want in fewest in possible words without sacrificing the other C qualities. A concise message saves time and expense for both sender and receiver. Conciseness refers to elimination of unnecessary words and inclusion of interesting topics for the
recipients.

Conciseness comprises of following points to be kept in mind

a. Eliminating wordy expressions
It refers to replacing of long wordy expressions by shorter terms of same meaning and avoiding overusing empty phrases and limiting the use of passive voice

Example:
Situation 1
  • Wordy: At this time
  • Concise: Now
Situation 2
  • Wordy: She bought desk that are of executive type
  • Concise: She bought executive-type desks
b. Include only relevant material

The effective message should not only omit unnecessary word expression but also irrelevant material. It can be done in the following manner:
  1. Stick to the purpose of the message.
  2. Delete irrelevant words and rambling sentences
  3. Avoid long introductions, unnecessary explanation, excessive adjective
  4. Omit obvious information to the receiver
Example:
  • Wordy: We hereby wish to let you know that our company is pleased with the confidence you have reposed in us.
  • Concise: We appreciate your confidence.
c. Avoid unnecessary repetition

Sometimes repetition is necessary for emphasis but when same thing is repeated two or three times without any reason the message becomes wordy and boring. These can be done by sticking to the following points.
  • Use of shorter name i.e. for example if once you have mentioned Tomas College of Commerce and Economics once, you can write Tom.com instead of such a long name in later.
  • Use pronouns or acronyms or initials rather then repeating long names i.e. for example you should write ICC instead of writing International Cricket Council again and again.
  • Cut out all needless expressions and repetition of phrases of sentences

Completeness: The First C's of 7 C's of Effective Communication

Completeness offers various benefits. It helps in bringing out the desired results without extra cost other number of messages. It also helps in building goodwill and a sense of concern for other party as both the reader and sender may have different background, culture, viewpoint, needs and experience.

Completeness comprises of the following points to be kept in mind

a) Providing all necessary information:

It means to provide entire information keeping in mind the readers point of view for their better understanding. It can be done by answering all WH questions i.e. who, what, when, where, why and other essentials like how?

b) Answer All Questions Asked:

A reply or reaction to a incomplete reply is most likely to be unfavorable. Not answering all the questions builds an image of being careless or trying to hide some weak spots, leading to question on our tact’s and honesty.

c) Give Something Extra, When Desirable:

It refers to providing some extra information related to the question asked by the opposite party. Giving a satisfactory reply is the main issue which would attract the opposite party for an interaction. For example if a new member in your society wants to know about the place where the next meeting will be held? So your reply should not only consist of the place where the meeting would be held it should also consist of other information relevant to the meeting like at what time, where, when, objective behind the meeting should be mentioned and an invitation to him in the end will make the reader more eager to attend the meeting.

Example of Usage of Completeness for Effective Communication:

Incomplete letter to a new savings depositor:

Thank you for the confidence you have shown us by the account you recently opened. All our facilities are at your disposal, and anytime we can be of service, please call on us. Our appreciation is best expressed by our service being of to you.

Revised, complete letter to the new savings depositor:

Thank you for the confidence you have shown in us by opening the savings account. Our goal is to make all our services available to you both helpful and pleasant.

Your account offers you the following benefits:
  • YOUR PASSBOOK DEPOSITS EARN 7% interest compounded half-yearly
  • BETTER-THEN-CHECKING facility helps you make online transactions and even 24 hour ATM (Automatic Teller Machine)
You are most welcome to come in whenever we can assist you. Please consider this association as your financial head-quarters for your savings and borrowing needs.

Waiting eagerly to see you in our premises

The 7C’s of Effective Communication

Effective Communication means making people understand our meaning and make them reply in terms that move the exchange of ideas forward……….

Communication is heavily based on sender’s or receiver’s attitude .

Things to be kept in mind while trying to have an effective communication:
  • Be clear in your own mind about what you want to communicate
  • Deliver the message succinctly (concisely)
  • Ensure that the message has been clearly and correctly understood

The 7 c’s of effective communication are as follows:

  1. Completeness
  2. Conciseness
  3. Consideration
  4. Concreteness
  5. Clarity
  6. Courtesy
  7. Correctness
Each of the above mentioned C quality is discussed in wider aspect in below. Our attitude towards others greatly influences our communication style. Some important points to be kept in our mind while trying to have an effective communication:

  • Give full attention to people while they are talking to you.
  • Encourage other people to talk, and ask appropriate questions.
  • Present your ideas so that others are receptive to your point of view.
  • Treat people fairly and let others know how you want to be treated.
  • Value teamwork and know how to build cooperation and commitment.
  • Show respect for people’s ideas and feelings, even when you disagree with them
  • Accept differences and conflict as a normal part of any work environment, and know how to address them constructively
  • Strive to understand other people and to be empathetic i.e. try to understand other person.
  • Be open to negative feedback, and communicate difficult truths in a respectful way.
  • Be able to easily win people’s trust and respect.
  • Check to make sure you have understood what other people are trying to communicate.
  • Be confident and at ease giving a presentation.
  • Avoid making absolutist judgments about people (e.g. “He/she is always that way.”)
  • Follow through on your commitments.
  • Be able to work with people you having difficulties with without becoming negatively yourself.

Tips To Have An Effective Brainstorming Session

Brainstorming can be a highly effective technique for maximizing a group’s creative potential in order to generate ideas and determine which ideas are most likely to succeed.

To run a group brainstorming session effectively, do the following:

1. Organize
a brainstorming group of 8-12 people in a relaxed environment.

2. Select a leader and a recorder (they may be the same person), though the recorder should have an easy to understand hand writing.

3. Define the problem or idea to brainstorm. Write it out concisely and make sure that everyone understands it and is in agreement with the way it is worded.

4. If the issue is broad, break it down into smaller issues which can be brainstormed independently.

5. Set a time limit (i.e. 30 minutes) for the brainstorming.

6. Set up the rules for the session. They should include:
  • Letting the leader have control of the session;
  • Allowing and encouraging everybody to contribute;
  • Ensuring that no one will insult, demean, or evaluate another participant or his/her ideas;
  • Stating that no answer is wrong;
  • All ideas are welcome no matter how silly or far out they seem;
  • Building on others’ ideas;
  • Absolutely no discussion taking place during the brainstorming;
  • Recording ALL the answers unless it is a repeat;
  • Stopping when the time limit is up.
7. Once the brainstorming starts, participants share their ideas and the facilitator writes them down preferably so everyone can see them (use a white board or a flip- chart).

8. Keep in mind that most brainstorming sessions feature 2 or 3 “false finishes”, each followed by an explosion of new ideas, before the group has really exhausted its store of information and ideas.

9. Once the brainstorming is finished, write down about five criteria for evaluating ideas. It might be useful scoring each idea (i.e. 0 to 5) on each criteria in order to make evaluation.

10.Group the similar ideas together.

11.Eliminate responses that definitely do not fit.

12. Once ideas are narrowed down (i.e. to the top 5), discuss the remaining ideas in the group.

13. If there is not a clear winner, use a voting method.

14. Keep the record of all the ideas generated in the session even after choosing the best idea, as it might turn out to be not workable.

How To Have an Effective Meeting

Meeting is very common word in professional world. Corporate bodies are very frequently sit with each other in meeting on some topic to discuss. For senior executives, meeting is a place to understand the tone of the team, to have the idea of current team's work status and give required direction to the team member. On the other hand, meeting is the place where junior or fresh executives try to sell their idea, effort, performance to the higher authority. So, we need to maintain some strategy to achieve our success in meeting. Some simple but effective tips are given in below for your assistance.

Tips To Have Successful Meeting
  • Set clear objectives: is a meeting a brainstorm session, informative or decision making, etc.
  • Prepare an agenda, distribute it in advance to all the participants and stick to the agenda.
  • Assure the meeting is chaired.
  • Arrange the location in advance and inform all the participants.
  • Ensure that appropriate supporting information is circulated in time to be useful.
  • Make sure you are not disturbed (no cell phones).
  • Be on time.
  • Be prepared.
  • Stay focused.
  • Assure participation of all participants, avoid dominance.
  • Assure accurate recording of meeting’s minutes/notes.
  • Take a break for meetings extending 1,5 hours.
  • Having an efficient meeting is teamwork.
  • Ask questions, there is nothing foolish about it.
  • Make sure the meeting has appropriate opening and closing.
  • Always end meetings on time and attempt to end on a positive note.
  • At the end of the meeting summarize the outcomes, review actions and assignments, and set up the next meeting if necessary.
  • Assure the minutes of the meeting are distributed to all the attendants not later than in the two following days.

Ways To Use Your Voice To Have Advantage

People make judgments about you just by listening to your voice. It isn't only the words you use, but how you say them that can make a difference.

When people see you (face-to-face communication), the impact of your voice is approximately
38% of the overall impression you make—the "picture." Over the phone, it jumps to 85%—since there are no visual cues.

There are certain things you can do to have a more pleasing voice:

1· Have an appropriate expression
Sound enthusiastic, or, when appropriate, alter your tone to fit the conversation (sounding sympathetic when talking about sad news, etc.)

2· Speak at the right temp
Speak slowly enough that people understand you easily, yet not so slowly that you are taking too long to complete a thought.

3· Pause
By pausing, you give people enough time to take in what you are saying. When you finish a thought, think of adding a period (.) by counting to three in your mind. If it would be a colon (:) , count to two, and if it is a comma (,) , count to one. In other words, don't run your words together.

4· Eliminate fillers
Avoid "uh," "um," "OK" and "you know."

5· Speak loud enough to be easily heard
Speaking in a whisper is non-assertive and annoying. If people ask you to speak up or to repeat yourself, this is a clue that you need help in this area.

6· Speak soft enough to avoid shouting and screaming
If people are asking you to "shh" or lower your tone, that's a clue, too.

7• Watch your diction
Completing words makes you sound smarter. Things like saying the "ing" ending can make a difference ("going" not "gonna," "doing," not "doin'"). Avoid also dropping the beginning of words ("them," not "'em").

8• Control your breathing when you get nervous or excited
It helps to lower your pitch, making you sound more credible.

9• Tape-record yourself or listen to your voice-mail messages
Decide what you need to practice so you sound better—in face-to-face encounters and electronically.

10• Keep your hands away from your mouth when speaking
And don't swallow words or let your voice trail off with any thoughts.

11• The power of your voice is the sum of its vocal quality and the words you choose.
You must not take either for granted to ensure that your speaking formula is a winning combination.

Strategy To Use Voice Mail Effectively

Tips To Use Voice Mail Effectively

  • Update your personal greeting regularly
  • Pause for 1-2 seconds before you record your greeting
  • Make your messages short so the caller will not have to wait long to leave a message
  • In your greeting let callers know when you will return their call
  • Include information in your greeting about how callers can reach a colleague if you are not available
  • If you will be away from the office for an extended period, on business or leave, let callers know how to reach a colleague who is taking your calls
  • Make use of “Follow Me” when possible; make sure the person you direct your calls to is informed and knows how to reply
  • Check your messages as often as possible, and return all calls within two hours. At the very least, return all the calls within 24 hours.
  • When you return a call thank the caller for leaving the voice mail message.
When leaving a voice mail message:

  • Always identify yourself and the company you are representing in case it is an outside call.
  • Always state the reason for calling.
  • Speak slowly and clearly.
  • Leave voice mail messages that are concise (write an outline or even a script before you call, if you find it hard to compose a message on the fly).
  • Convey concrete information.
  • Do not ramble. Remember a voice mail message is not a two-way conversation. The recipient might have many other messages to pick up.
  • Always give your phone number when you leave a message.
  • Speak slowly and distinctive on voice mail when giving phone number or other facts that recipient may need to write down. Leave your name and number twice.
  • Watch your emotions when you leave a voice mail message. One way communication can come across much angrier, more hurtful or more self-pitying than intended.
  • If you need a return call, say when and where you will be available.
  • Voice mail can be used as a record of communication, in the same way as print. When leaving a message remember your voice mail is being recorded.

Make Your E-Mail Stand Alone To Present You

We are living in the technology time, where we have so much blessings from science and technology, makes our life so easy and comfortable. Corporate world also enjoy the benefit. A professional from UK is now send the business proposal, developed by him, to his boss sitting in their Los Angels office through e-mail, this is quite impossible for some time ago. This helps us to have our presence among our superior bosses where we don't have easy access. And, the chance to communicate with them also very rare for them. So, whenever we are writing any mail to them, then that becomes a huge opportunity for us, spoiling such perhaps the last thing that comes in our mind. So, we need some expertise to write e-mails properly which ultimately represent me in front of my superiors and even among my colleagues.

Email should be constructed and written so that the intended audience can read, understand and act on the message after the first time they read it.

Small Tips To Write E-Mails Properly:

1. Be concise and to the point

Do not make an email longer than it needs to be.

2. Answer all questions and pre-empt further questions
By answering all the questions you’ll avoid further e-mails, frustration and wasting time.

3· Use correct grammar, spelling and punctuation

4· Make it personal
The content of email should be customized.

5· Respond quickly
Email implies a quick respond comparing to the written letter, so should be answered at least within 24 hours.

6· Do not attach unnecessary files

7· Use proper structure and layout
Use short paragraphs and blank lines in between for easier reading from the screen.

8· Do not overuse high priority option
When overused it looses its function. Also might come out as aggressive.

9· Do not write in CAPITALS
IF YOU WRITE IN CAPITALS IT SEEMS LIKE YOU ARE SHOUTING.

10• Do not leave out the original messages
Use “Reply with history” so the recipient can easily see what the email is in reference to.

11• Read the email before you send it
Proof reading will help discover missed mistakes and misspellings, as well as ensure that none of the content is missing.

12• Do not overuse Reply to All
Only use Reply to All if you really need your message to be seen by each person who received the original message.

13• Take care with abbreviations
Do not use the abbreviations if you are not sure whether the recipient knows them.

14• Use a meaningful subject
Use a subject that is meaningful to the recipient and yourself. Make it as detailed as possible.

15• Use active instead of passive
Active voice (“We will process your order”) sounds more personal, whereas passive (“Your order will be processed”) sounds unnecessarily formal.

16• Avoid using URGENT and IMPORTANT
The less you use them the more function they have when you do use them.

17• Avoid long sentences
Try to keep your sentences to a maximum of 15-20 words.

18• Keep your language gender neutral

19• Use cc: field sparingly
Use cc: field only if the recipient in the cc: field knows why he or she is receiving the email.

20• Use face-to-face communication whenever possible instead of e-mail.

21• Think first before you write an email!

Presentation Tips: Essential For Executives


Tell me one name of today's executive who don't know the importance or need of presentation skill. In today's corporate world their are many practical example, people become distinguish from their co-worker just for having good presentation skill. If we give some effort, then we all can improve our presentation skill, it is not a skill that people inherited by born. Rather, this is a skill which people can acquire through practice and following some strategy.

Establish rapport/bond with your audience and they become your partners in a dialog, allies in your presentation. They will want you to succeed. They will overlook your nervousness and lack of polish. And they will give you the benefit of the doubt even if they lose thread of your logic.

Some very simple steps to become good presenter

1. Talk to people before your presentation.

Introduce yourself as people begin gathering. Ask them about themselves, what they do, and why they are there. Smile.

2. Have your audience’s best interests at heart

See your presentation as an opportunity to serve your audience, not to impress or “sell” them.

3. Establish eye contact

Look people in the eye one at a time. Hold each person’s gaze for 5 to 10 seconds and then look someone else in the eye. We distrust people who will not look us in the eye. A word of caution – some cultures consider such eye contact intrusive and rude.

4. Speak simply and with conviction

Do not give a speech. Have a conversation with your audience. Say “I’, “we” and “you” when appropriate.

5. Approach your presentation from your audience’s perspective – not yours

Address their concerns. Speak to their interests, values and aspirations. Avoid words they might not understand. Cite evidence they find credible. If you have to use words or acronyms they might not understand, explain them immediately.

Ways To Resolve Conflict: Conflict Management

If you view conflict as something that should not happen, something that harms relationships, it becomes negative. And then avoid it and hope it would go away. But if you see conflict as a fact of life, an opportunity to strengthen relationships, you have a way to resolving conflict by turning it into something creative.

Try these 10 ways to resolve conflict:

1. Agree on a mutually acceptable time and place to discuss the conflict.

2. State the problem as you see it and list your concerns.
  • Make “I” statements.
  • Withhold judgments, accusations, and absolute statements (“always” or “never”).
3. Let the other person have his/her say
  • Do not interrupt or contradict.
  • Do not allow name-calling, put-downs, threats, obscenities, yelling or intimidatingbehavior.
4. Listen and ask questions
  • Ask fact-based questions (who? where? what? when? how?) to make sure you understand the situation.
  • Ask exploratory questions (what if? what are you saying? is this the only solution to your problem? what if did such and such? are there other alternatives to this situation?).
  • Avoid accusatory “why” questions (why are you like that?).
  • Use your own words to restate what you think the other person means and wants.
  • Acknowledge person’s feelings and perceptions.
5. Stick to one conflict at a time – to the issue at hand.
  • Do not change the subject or allow it to be changed. (“I understand your concern but I’d like to finish what we’re talking about at the moment before we discuss it.”)
6. Seek common ground
  • What do you agree on.
  • What are your shared concerns.
7. Brainstorm solutions to the conflict that allow everyone to win

8. Request behavior changes only
  • Do not ask others to change their attitudes.
  • Do not ask them to “feel” differently about something.
  • Do not ask them to “be” different.
  • If you want them to “stop doing” something, suggest an alternative solution.
9. Agree to the best way to resolve the conflict and to a timetable for implementing it.
  • Who will do what by when?
10. If the discussion breaks down, reschedule another time to meet. Consider bringing in a third party.

Keep Discussions from Turning into Arguments

The only way you can make sure you never loose an argument, to paraphrase Dale Carnegie, is to avoid getting into one in the first place.

In a discussion everyone wins.
In an argument no one wins.

For better understanding, we need to know what are the characteristics exist in discussion and argument. For this reason, please go through the following characteristics of discussion and arguments for having a more clear understanding.

Characteristics Of Discussion
  • We treat people as partners in a problem- solving session.
  • We share ideas, consider alternatives, and evaluate the pros and cons.
  • We listen to other people’s thoughts and explore ideas we haven’t previously considered
  • We learn more about the issue, about what we think and feel, and about each others values.
  • We seek people’s support, not their resentful silence.
  • We may passionately disagree with each other but mutual respect keeps the discussion civil.
Characteristics Of Argument
  • We treat other people as opponents to be defeated.
  • We draw sides, defend our own positions, and attack the opposition.
  • If we listen at all, we do so only to find the weaknesses in the other person’s reasoning.
  • We are not open to new ideas or the possibility of changing our opinions.
  • We want to prove the superiority of our side and the weakness of the other side.
  • Even when we “win” an argument, we usually do so by losing a potential ally.
Now, as we have some basic understandings of these two term, discussion and argument, we can have some tips which will help us to keep the discussion as it is and ensuring no conversion of discussion into arguments.

Tips to keep discussions from turning into arguments:

1. Do not argue

Refuse to get drawn into an argument. Be civil. Respect the other person as much as you honour your own values. Be assertive without resorting to aggression.
2. Seek areas of agreement

Often we agree with people in principle but disagree with them in practice (we want the same thing but have different ideas of how to accomplish it). Find those areas of agreement. Make them clear. Try always to make the other person a fellow problem-solver, neither an opponent nor a friend.

3. Focus on interests, not positions

An issue is what we want or need. A position is a way of achieving it. Avoid getting attached to your positions so that you do not lose sight of your interests. It is often easier to negotiate and compromise around interests than around positions.

4. Try to see things from the other person’s point-of-view

There is a reason why other people act and think the way they do – however how illogical, wrong-headed, or misguided as it may seem to you. If you criticize them or show disapproval for their reasoning, they will only harden in their resolution. They will resent and resist you. Seek, instead, to discover their hidden reasons, and you will find the key to their motivation.

5. Ask clarifying questions

Ask open-ended questions. Closed questions – like “Do you agree with my proposal?” – limit people’s ability to express themselves. Open-ended questions – like “How do you feel about my proposal?” – give them freedom and give you more information.

6. Listen

Spend more time listening than speaking (you can not get yourself into trouble by listening, but you sure can start a brawl by speaking). Listen with your body, your eyes and your mind as well as with your ears. Try to understand what people mean, without getting caught up in the exact words they say. Make them feel understood, and they will be much more likely to try to understand you.

7. If you are wrong, admit it

There is nothing wrong with changing your opinion, once you have gained new information or perspective. As a matter of fact, it is the sign of wisdom and maturity. Remember that you have been wrong in the past even when you thought you were right, and admit that you might be wrong this time.

8. If you are right, allow the other person to save face

You are trying to win people’s cooperation, not to prove them wrong. Your kindness will do more to gain their goodwill than anything else.

The Way To Handle Criticism

As criticism is very common in corporate world, we need to control our emotion. We need to hold our emotion as through criticism other people may do one favor for you- identifying places where you need to do some working to ensure further improvement to achieve success in your career.

Simple Steps To Handle Criticism

1. Listen Impartially

Not showing any negative or defensive emotions when listening will stop you appearing vulnerable or fragile.

2. Summarize What the Other Person Has Said

This means you have understood them correctly and also that you have taken it all in.

3. Ask Questions

The more specific the criticism the more helpful. Find out what you did and when that gave them their impression. This will mean you will not make the same mistake again.

4. Criticism is Rarely Groundless but Often Exaggerated

Decide which elements are useful and what you can do differently to be more effective.

5. Think about How the Person who Criticizes You Looks at the World

Could they have been trying to help? Are they under pressure themselves? Think about why they have these views about you. This could give you some useful self-awareness.

6. Ask Those Who Criticize You for Their Advice

By making them part of the solution they are less likely to criticize you in the future.

7. Thank People Who Criticize You

Not only have they given you free information but you will also disarm them.

8. Re-frame Criticism Which Focuses on What Went Badly

Consider what positive steps you can take to improve in the future and what you have learnt from not succeeding.

9. If You Are Angry, Take It on Something, Not Someone

It is understandable to be annoyed but not very useful.

10. Praise Others for What They are Doing Well

It will give you the moral high ground and make you popular (as well as reinforcing productive behavior).

The Art of Giving Feedback

Simple Steps to Give Feedback in Style

1. Do It Often

Virtually no one thinks they get enough feedback and that is because virtually no one gives enough.

2. Do Not Be Shy

Give feedback as close to the event it refers to as possible. This way what happened is fresh in everybody’s mind and it will be easier to learn from it.

3. Give It Some Meaning

Always provide the context before you give feedback. For example “I wanted to talk to you about the report that you wrote yesterday.”

4. Be Specific

Talk about what went well and what could have gone better for the individual or the team.

5. Describe Actual Behaviors Where Possible

Avoid the infamous “feedback sandwich” (good-bad-good) – it comes across as untruthful and dilutes the impact of good feedback.

6. Give a Wider Context

Describe the impact it had and on whom. This gives an idea of how important it is.

7. Be Generous with Positive Feedback

With positive feedback describe what it tells you about the individual. There are not many greater motivators than being told you are a wonderful person.

8. Allow People a Chance to Respond

If they would like time to reflect, let them, and agree to talk about it again at a future date. Do not force people to talk about it though.


9. Remain Objective

Do not let your personal prejudices get the better of you. Remember you are giving feedback for the other person’s benefit and not to vent your own spleen.

10. Build an Action Plan

With critical feedback make sure there is an agreed way to progress. Find the right time and place.

How To Negotiate: The Art Of Negotiation


Simple steps to achieve the Success In Negotiation:
  • Prepare for negotiation.
  • Do not view negotiation as confrontational.
  • Do not try to win at all costs.
  • Do not become emotional.
  • Listen to the other person(s). By listening you might receive information that will help you further in the negotiation.
  • Try to understand the other person.
  • Focus on issues, not personalities.
  • Do not blame the other person.
  • Use questions to find out what the other person’s concerns and needs might be.
  • When you hear the other person express their needs or concerns, use listening responses to make sure you heard correctly (“So, you are saying …” “If I heard this right …”).
  • State your needs and the reasons.
  • Prepare options beforehand. Anticipate why the other person may resist your suggestion, and be prepared to counter with an alternative.
  • Do not argue.
  • Aim at win-win situation not a compromise.
  • Consider timing.

Communicate Effectively: How To Win People’s Cooperation


1. Make People Feel Understood.


Spend less time trying to make people understand what you want, and more time making them feel understood. In an ideal world people might make decisions, commitments and judgments based on logic and sound reasoning. But in this world people act in response to their preferences, feelings and social influence they might not be even aware of. If they trust you and feel you care about them, they are much more likely to cooperate with you.

2. Find Common Ground

Show people how their needs, values and dreams mesh with yours. To do so, you have to understand their values and concerns. See things from their point of view. Be sympathetic with their feelings. Then show them how cooperating with you can help them achieve what they want.

3. Listen

Listening is the best way to make people feel understood and at the same time to find common ground. Ask open-ended questions, the kind that invite people’s careful consideration and honesty. Try to understand what people mean, without getting hung up on the literal meaning of their words. And acknowledge their thoughts and feelings (which is not the same thing as agreeing with them).

4. Do Not Argue

The person you defeat in an argument today may be the person whose cooperation you need tomorrow. Arguments make people stake out positions and defend them. And the more you try to prove them wrong, the harder they will resist you. People may feel overwhelmed and stop arguing with you. But that does not mean you have won them over. Most of the time, when you win an argument, you lose an ally.

5. Care About The People You Want To Influence

If you are concerned about the people you are trying to win over, if you value their needs and dreams, they will know it and they will reciprocate. They will communicate more freely, speaking their mind more openly and listening more attentively. They will give you the benefit of the doubt and they will want to cooperate.

6. Be Open For Others Ideas

Do not try to impose your ideas on others only. Listen to and value the ideas of the people that work for you or with whom you work together. Be open minded and feel confident with sharing the ideas with others. Even request for new ideas to gain people’s support and cooperation.

7. Help People Believe The Change Is Possible

People often know, although they will not often admit, that they need to change. They feel a vague uneasiness, sensing that things will not pan out the way they want. But they persist in doing what they have always done, thinking they are doing the best they can. Show them a better way, but more importantly convince them that the change is possible. Do not just give them a solution but offer them confidence.

8. Time Your Request Well

There is a time and season for everything, especially for asking for support. When people are feeling stressed out, anxious, angry, resentful or threatened, they are not really receptive. Do what you can to reassure them and to make them feel safe, and you increase your chances of winning their support. Look for “moments of influence”, times when they feel capable and confident, and make your best case then.

Listen Strategically: The Easy Steps to Follow


We can achieve success in communication at any given time by understanding the following four meanings of listening to listen strategically:

  1. Facts
  2. Meaning
  3. Feelings
  4. Intention

“The house is burning” is a simple, straight-forward statement. But those four words –
depending on how they are said – may mean:

  • “A residential structure is being consumed by flames.” (Facts)
  • “The house we are in is on fire.” (Meaning)
  • “Ahhhhh!!!!!!” (Feelings)
  • “Run for your life.” (Intention)
Sometimes we do not understand other people because we are not listening, or we are not listening well. We are destructed or simply are not paying attention. But sometimes we do not understand them because we are not hearing what they want to communicate. We are not listening to the right level. We may hear the facts for example but miss the feelings.

Level 1: The Facts

People want to-------- Convey Information
Your task is to-------- Listen to details and clarify
You need to ask------- “Who?” “What?” “Where?” “Why?” “When?” “How?”
Your goal is to--------- Picture the situation as the person is describing it

Level 2: Meaning

People want to-------- Make themselves understood
Your task is to-------- Listen to the big picture, summarize and paraphrase
You need to ask------- “Am I understanding you correctly?” “Is this what you are getting at?”
Your goal is to--------- Understand what the person means, and make the other person feel understood.


Level 3: Feelings

People want to-------- Connect on emotional level
Your task is to-------- Listen with empathy, pay attention to body language and tone of voice
You need to ask------- “How does it make you feel?” “It sounds to me like you are feeling …”
Your goal is to--------- Recognize how the person is feeling and make the other person feel connected


Level 4: Intention

People want to-------- Get their needs met
Your task is to-------- Listen to wants and needs, focus on solutions, action
steps and outcomes
You need to ask------- “What do you want to have happen?” “What would help you in this situation?” “What can you/we do about it?”
Your goal is to--------- Know what the person wants to achieve

How To Communicate Effectively


Connect

  • Establish rapport with people
  • Pay attention to people’s facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice.
  • See things from the other person’s point of view.
  • Adjust your communication style to match theirs.
  • Avoid criticizing, making negative judgments, or saying that the other person is wrong.
  • Show interest in the other person’s interests and concerns.
Listen
  • Encourage people to talk.
  • Show your willingness to listen. Minimize distractions. Attend to the other person with your whole body (your body language, eyes, facial expressions).
  • Nod your head and give verbal cues to communicate that you are paying attention.
  • Ask open-ended questions.
  • Listen to what people are trying to communicate, not just to what they are saying.
  • Listen to their emotions.
  • Listen also to what they want.
  • Check to make sure you understand. Use your own words to reflect what you have heard and noticed.
Communicate
  • Speak with sincerity and conviction.
  • Be sensitive to other people’s communication style.
  • Know what you want to accomplish. Do you want people to understand your position? Lend their support? Approve your request?
  • Listen at least as much as you talk.
  • Attune what you say with how you say it. Keep your message fitting with your tone of voice, facial expression, and body language.

Speak
  • Project confidence.
  • Connect with your audience.
  • Know what you want to accomplish. Do you want people to understand your position? Lend their support? Approve your request?
  • Keep it short and simple. Most communication can accomplish only one objective, develop three main points, and hold people’s attention only so long.
  • Ask for feedback; was the message understood.